This blog is best described as my creative writing outlet. For several months I have felt that I've neglected my duties and desires to write. I am afraid that I would be judged by my writing, which is why, I suppose, I haven't ever supplied it with the drive it needs. In college, my skills became more refined, but in the time since, they have faltered, through no one's wrongdoing but my own. My writing had grown immensely, and has shriveled over time like a neglected potted plant. I hope to rescue it and keep it alive for as long as I can - hopefully for the rest of my life. And if I am to be judged by it, then so be it. I guess we all get judged by others in one way or another. Through this I will at least have been judged by something I've done that I care about rather than all the nothing I'd accomplished.
Writing is the one thing I find that comes naturally to me. As much as I try to breach other creative expressions, none fit the bill quite as nicely as writing does.
I cannot speak well; I stumble over words. Even when I manage to think of the correct phrasing, the pronunciation or tone comes out mumbled/slurred/stuttered/clumsy/rude/annoyed (overall just wrong), after which I simply give up.
My "crafting" skills are nowhere near to par with the creations I imagine myself making. While I've heard this would get better over time, it's difficult to work hard at something which may never manifest itself (especially when another task [writing] comes so much more easily).
Cooking is something I am actually quite good at, which most who know me find surprising. I was the definition of a "picky eater" as a child, and so my family is shocked to taste something I've made and find it to be good. I can understand their logic: how can someone who had such an aversion to trying new foods be so good at cooking something other than boxed macaroni and cheese? Well, I think that is the reason the exact opposite is true.
I think my aversion bred curiosity as I grew up and morphed into a sense of adventure. If these foods weren't sickening or killing the people who ate them, then why shouldn't I try them? And what might happen if I cooked this chicken in the oven instead of in a skillet? And what if I used this spice instead of that one? Etc.
Not having tried many foods during childhood also allowed me to not develop an early distaste for one food or another. Many people think they don't like a food because of the way they remember it tasting as a child, but taste buds change several times over the course of a person's life. Even I recognize this from my limited menu choice; foods I remember loving as a kid taste gross to me now.
I also have an enormous attention to detail, so I pay close attention to the food when cooking. This helps to stop cooking at the exact right moment (most of the time) and amaze the eaters with my marvelous culinary abilities.
Baking, on the other hand, is something I am slowly learning (and gladly doing so). Baking is much, much more precise than cooking "regular" food. My aforementioned attention to detail has thus far helped tremendously in my learning process, keeping my discouragement at a tolerable level. While I might not yet be able to ice a cake well, or even take it out of the oven at the right time, it all has tasted pretty good; I follow directions to a "t."
While I cook and bake well, I don't find as much of a lasting satisfaction with those tasks. Writing leaves something permanent behind, while food gets eaten and forgotten. A person might always remember a scrumptious piece of cake or a juicy steak, but there's nothing they can do to relive that experience except play it back by memory. After a page has been printed, however, a person can go back to reread the words over and over, either taking a new experience from it each time or reliving the emotions felt from the first moment.
And so this brings me here, to this blog. Where I hope to rekindle the fire of my personal expression, refine my writing, and, hopefully, bring people pleasure in reading my work. Enjoy.
